I really wish I had a crystal ball. That is the thought I have been having recently. Then I stop myself and wonder “would I actually believe what the crystal ball showed me?” The answer…nope. I wouldn’t. So, why do I want that crystal ball so bad? Why do I want to know how this will all turn out? To some extent I think it is human nature, to some extent it is because I am a planner and to some extent I think it is that we are all getting tired of the unknown.
A couple weeks ago I wanted to quit being homeless by choice. I. Was. Done. I wanted to buy a house, give in to the “normal” box society wants me to fit into and give up. Guess what? The next morning I woke up PISSED at myself. PISSED I tell you. There are plenty of things I don’t know and there are several examples of me failing, but quitting? Nope. Not. Happening. Through the last year, the pandemic, all the challenges and changes I had stayed pretty positive but something flipped toward the end of September and I was just done. I wanted safety, security, normal, etc. With each passing day I am realizing that I am right where I want to be, right where I should be and if I continue to embrace the journey, I will end up right where I am suppose to be.
One thing that was NEVER considered when becoming homeless was “what would we do in the case of a global pandemic?” Looking back it seems silly that we didn’t consider it but it was 2019, Covid wasn’t a thing yet and we didn’t think about it. The list of things I never considered when making this lifestyle change has grown as our time living this way has gone on. I have found myself sympathizing with groups of people that to be honest, never really crossed my mind in the past. I have questioned past spending habits, basically, I have questioned a lot. It has changed me as a person. Today I decided to share some of that with you all.
Do you know that you HAVE to have an address to get an ID in the United States. Have to. No other way around it. PO Box doesn’t count. Ummmmm….never mind that I chose to live this way, what if you don’t have a choice? People that fall on hard times and are homeless not by choice. Their id expires while homeless. Need help with social services? You need an ID. To get an ID you need an address. Anyone seeing a circle here that is super difficult to get out of. Ever tried to rent an apartment or even a hotel room without an ID? Not happening. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Don’t even get me started on voting. Again….do you have an ID? Do you have an address?
What about the part of the population that choose to live in/on their vans/rv’s/boats? Don’t think it happens? You are officially being called out. It happens. Granted it is sort of a sub-culture here in the USA, but it is much more common than you think. How do those people title those vehicles? How do they carry insurance on them? You have to have an address to do it! So even when you live alternatively you still must do certain things to be a US citizen and to fit into the box that has been laid forth for generations. The box has not caught up to the fact that there is a percentage of the population who do not want (at least for a period of time) a house, a picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog.
When I tell people I am homeless by choice there are steps that they go through to process it:
- Silence
- They ask why
- I respond with why not
- I give a further explanation
- I get either a should shrug or a that’s so cool….I don’t think I could do that.
I understand the questions and the intrigue. I also understand that my alternative living situation makes people uncomfortable and isn’t for everyone. But I hope that each of you takes something/thinks about something differently based on the experiences we share here. Please think about people that live alternatively. Please understand that once you find yourself in a place without an address….getting out of that place is NOT EASY. Our society is designed to keep you in that place whether you want to admit it or not.
I still don’t have my crystal ball, but I am trying to stop looking for it. Instead I have started getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. I am not advocating that you all sell your homes and jump on the bandwagon (although it can be wildly fun!). Just stop and think about how many times you are asked for an ID or an address in a week or a month and then think about those that don’t have either. Show them some grace. Give them a hand up. Help someone….just because.
More later and much love, NB
