Grapes, Bridges and Anxiety

In my head I have a lot to say and then I sit down in front of the keyboard and…….nothing. Still going to give this a shot….

Starting today off with an honest statement: I have asked what day today is no less than 3 times. This new life has shown me that I usually know what the date is, but I rarely know what the actual day is. I can tell you where we are and where we go next, what time we fly, where we pick up a rental car and what the date will be when we fly home, but ask me what day it is and again, nothing.

If you reread that last paragraph you will see the word home in it. It is a word that we still use and somehow when Jerry and I use it to each other we just seem to know where we are talking about. Sometimes home means Metro Detroit, sometimes it is still West Lafayette, sometimes it is our current hotel room. In my stack of t-shirts that are in my big red backpack (Cliff, his name is Cliff. Yes, my backpack has a name. Don’t judge.) is a shirt that says Home is Where the Heart Is. Each day I am working to embrace that statement. (The irony of the shirt is the heart on it is in the middle of an ocean…no land anywhere near that heart.) I can’t speak for Jerry, but I have always embraced the current place that I lay my head to sleep as home. For me it helps to normalize the travel and the chaos that it can bring.

Currently home is California. Napa for a couple nights and now San Francisco for a couple nights. While my preferred adult beverage is whiskey and I was skeptical about Napa, I found that I really enjoyed the area. For myself and my slight ocd tendencies, there was something very satisfying about the symmetry of the rows of grapes. Amazing! We went to 1 winery while there. One. Mondavi. Go. Quiet. Serene. Special.

San Francisco has been on my list of places to visit for a while and it is nice that I finally got to leave the airport (I had connected at the San Fran airport several times, but until a couple days ago had never left the airport property.) Rookie mistake our first day here….I did my hair. FYI, it is windy here. Don’t waste your time. Today I was smart and wore a hat.

We have walked up Lombard, eaten the crab cakes, had the sourdough bread, eaten the chowder, walked, walked, and walked some more. Tomorrow is Alcatraz.

So, I have been battling some increased anxiety since leaving West Lafayette on the 17th. Not really sure what I should be doing when or feeling guilty when not working that I should be working are a couple of contributing factors to the increase. One thing that has always helped calm me is water. Today I walked next to/sat next to the water for hours. Watching boats, the fog, seals, etc. was a great way to spend the afternoon. When you travel, make sure to take the time to do what YOU want to do and what you NEED to do to fulfill yourself. Don’t go to the museum if you don’t care about the museum. Do what you enjoy and not what a tourist book tells you to do.